The trailer review dump

I’ve been looking through the trailers of the latest movies that are slated to appear soon or have already been released. I might be in a bad mood today, but what a sad bunch of movie going season this seems to be. While I have been wrong about a movie just by judging it from the trailer before, I have a very good track of being right about a movie just by watching the trailer. So here are my humble comments on some of the trailers that are available on the Apple trailers page:

Saw V: Why are people even going to this? While the first one was sort of new and fresh, with every subsequent sequel the “franchise” got staler and staler until, judging by the current trailer, it’s already stinking up the place. Definitely not going to see it.

 

 

 

 

 

Disaster Movie: While I may not be the sharpest knife in the shed, my intelligence was blatantly insulted by this trailer. So my intelligence strongly advises me to stay away. Funny thing is, I actually like parodies, just not when they are so utterly idiotic that it shows from the trailer.

 

 

 

 

Beverly Hills Chihuahua: The trailer starts promisingly (as promisingly as Disney movie trailers can go), but then they start singing the Chihuahua song with added rap to make it “funny”. Now that really took the cake and ate it and then crapped it and then ate it again. I hate the song even without the added rap, I hate films that make it look like animals are actually moving their lips to speak. I can’t even imagine dog lovers liking this. A definite NO NO.

 

 

 

Watchmen: I like the song they used (Smashing Pumpkins’ The beginning is the end), but the trailer is just made of slow motion sequences that give me the impression of watching a 3D Studio Max showreel rather than a movie trailer. Still, I could be wrong about this one, and the script might be longer than one page full of special effects details and a few lines of dialogue.

 

 

 

The Spirit: While actually having voices within it, this trailer suffers from the same “slow motionitis” like the Watchmen trailer. However, I find the visual imagery more compelling that the Watchmen trailer, and while I’m being a little put off by the “brought to you by the creator of 300” bit in the description, I’m actually looking forward to seeing it. I just hope it’s not Sin City 3 with added color scenes.

 

 

 

The Longshots: Citing from the description: “From Ice Cube, the star of such hits as Are We There Yet?, Are We Done Yet? and First Sunday, comes a feel-good family comedy, THE LONGSHOTS”. Such hits? They must be using the ‘such’ word as a replacement for mildly boring, or somewhat uninteresting. Such hits. Please. How about such hits as Is it over yet?, Can I have my money back now? and Never ever in my life.

Do I really need to explain why I haven’t even bothered to see the trailer for this “feel-good family comedy”? I can already imagine the jokes… and they are *such* not funny.

 

It seems like the problem is that, even if people are not happy with this kind of crappy productions, somehow they still find their way into the movie theaters, watching this very same crap each time, over and over. So people should stop going to this kind of redux of redux of utter shit and vote with their wallets. That is the only vote that will stop the studios from financing the next Saw and Something Movie.

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One response to “The trailer review dump

  1. Well said Great information, keep up the great work!

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